A Death In the Family

Monday, November 10, 2008

I'm in Chicago...what a surprise! Last Tuesday, daughter-in-law Kelly telephoned to say her Mom had called to tell her she had a doctor's appointment...something about her heart. Kelly was concerned. (Diane has diabetes and many other related problems, plus a stroke that just about did her in some 18 years ago, but she is a "tough old bird" as she says.) Anyway, a little while later Kelly called to say that the doctor decided it was necessary to immediately insert some stints to help blood get to her weakening heart, and Kelly would be flying into Atlanta on emergency leave.

Kelly is very uncomfortable with her Mom's husband, Wally...he's really intimidates her. (Wally is like that. He and Greg never get along because Greg, like me, stands up to that sort and refuses to "take that kind of bull." Being raised as an only child doesn’t always prepare you for such as Wally.) She did not want to be at the mercy of her mother's brothers (another story) or Wally, so I told her I would meet her at the Airport. I booked us reservations at a Red Roof Inn we're familiar with, out near our son Jeff’s apartment, packed for 4 days, and headed for Hartsfield in Atlanta.

Kelly arrived about 9:45 am Wednesday and by then her Mom had a massive heart attach after the two stints were attached, moved to ICCU (next step up from ICU) at Emory Hospital, and been placed on life support. Over the next two days we saw Diane slowly but surely rally and recover…so much so, that by Friday evening Diane was off all life support and doing very well. Kelly was able to visit with her, tell her about the grandsons, do her fingernails, etc, in short spurts of time till her Mom tired.

Friday night when we left the hospital at 9:30 pm or so, Kelly told her Mom good-bye because she had to fly back to Chicago the next morning. I think we all felt very good about Diane making another of the recoveries she is so well known for doing.

Saturday morning Kelly’s flight was at 9:05 am; she was in line to load when she received the call from the hospital that her Mom had died about 7:15 am. She called me; I turned around and headed back to the airport where I picked her up and we drove back to Emory.

Greg, all this time, had stayed in Chicago to take care of 4-month old Ash and 2-year old Max. Now, all Kelly wanted, was to get to Greg. With their savings depleted, he was about ready to float a loan or rob a bank (a joke) to get a ticket. I told him to hang on. He was not certain about trying to bring the babies, what to pack, what he’d do once he arrived, etc. He knew the trip would be extremely difficult when there were two adults handling two babies, but he would try it by himself if he needed to do that. He didn’t want to do it unless nothing else could be worked out.

I decided something else could be done. If Greg brought the children, it would cost 3 round trip tickets; if I flew up there and he down to Atlanta, that would demand only 2 round trip tickets…money saved! Everyone involved thought that was a good plan if we could pull it together.

Soooooo, I called Fred to bring some clothes, including a coat. While he gathered my stuff and made the 2 hour drive, I went to Jeff’s apartment so I could get on line to find a reasonable ticket to Chicago and back later on and wait for Fred. He arrived, I switched my dirty clothes (they were my warmest garments) into the larger suitcase, along with the clean stuff Fred brought, call Greg to give him the time of my arrival, and give Kelly a call to fill her in on the details and send her my love (she was at the funeral home).

I printed my boarding pass and checked in my luggage on line (you can do that with Delta). Fred took me to the airport for my 4:05 pm flight on his way home, and I was up here by 6 pm Chicago time. Greg and I purchased him a ticket for Sunday morning to Atlanta so he would arrive by noon, and we switched places. He gave me a briefing on basic schedules as he finished his packing. His buddy picked him up at 4 am Sunday morning to take him to O’Hare, and I have been busy since I arrived.

I did manage today (Monday) to get my clothes washed and dried. The washroom is on the 3rd floor, and I have to work the going up and down on the elevator while the boys are asleep, or at least while Ash is asleep. Last night (Sunday) by the time I had both boys in bed and had time to do laundry and straighten up a little, FORGET IT! I did manage to get things set up for Monday: make a jug of formula, empty the dishwasher, clean up the kitchen and put away the groceries that had been delivered about 9:15 pm (Greg ordered them Saturday night). After that, all I could do was crawl into bed. I had not recovered from the long Saturday and at my age, I am working to keep up with my two precious Little Ones solo.

This has been my first chance to get to my computer; Ash is taking a nap and Max is playing with some of his toys. I wanted to record what was up with me. I will be in Chicago until after Thanksgiving. That'll gave Kelly enough time to take care of the legal matters with her Mom’s estate. I do hope Wally does not make it difficult; I hope Diane made her will simple and uncomplicated. We shall see. I know Kelly will need a little time and support to work with her Mom’s brothers to clear up any legal matters; Greg and I can relieve her of any worry about the boys during that time.

Opps…Ash is stirring. Bye for now.

Emails, Letter, and Telephones

Sunday, November 1, 2008

I enjoy sending and receiving email. It is as good as receiving a letter in the mail, a skill that is quickly being lost in America, I fear. I keep a letter-writing correspondence with my cousin Marillyn from New Orleans because I cherish her style of written news. Her notes are always looked forward to with relish, then read over and over again. I have most of the ones she has ever written me.

I prefer her letters to a phone call from her. I'd rather write her a letter than telephone her, any day! I have a phone-phobia. Now I really enjoy talking on the phone, but initiating the phone call is very difficult for me. I get knots in my stomach; my hands get sweaty; I make all sorts of excuses to avoid making the call. Now that does not make any sense to me (or anyone else, probably)...it never has; but, it is the truth. I had twinges of it as a teenager, but as I have aged, it has become worse. As a teacher, I had to make many calls to parents from time to time; I loved busy signals or no answers. Answering machines were a blessing; somehow I could talke to one of those much more easily. Well, now you know a deep dark truth about me...and Fred insists I own a cell phone, as if I care that I am constantly connected to the world!

But now email...that's a whole different thing...I enjoy writing letters, notes, quips, epistles, etc. Email fits right into that genre. That is a type of expression that is close to my heart...written expression. Perhaps it's why I finally accepted Kelly's, Amanda's, and Shelley's challenge to start a blog: it allows me to express myself in the media I enjoy most...writing. I am verbose! I love finding the right word for the correct content. Adjectives are a delight...those chuncky soup sentences I used to teach my students to create...or at least try to teach them to create.

Photography is also a boon to writing. What I cannot express in verbage can spill out into pictures. A good camera is so important to me, and even now I am looking to learn how to use a SLR digital. When I have my mind made up that I really can do it, I'll work on my budget enough to squirrel away the $800 or so for a good one to learn the skills. Right now I am using a Fuji FinePix 5700...it's good but not as good as it predecessor, a FinePix 5000. I wore it out with over 36,000 pictures and several disasterous drops. Fred has a lovely SLR digital that he is learning to use, but that is HIS and I generally do not feel welcomed to use his cameras. Considering the dropsy factor of my 5000, I understand.

Today is bulb digging day. Augie ben Dawgie, my miniature schnauzer, will be leashed out front as I begin to dig the amaryllis bulbs in the front bed. They are long overdue digging, as they have begun to crowed each other out and grow on top of the ground. They've gone from 90-100 stalks to maybe 40 stalks of blooms this year. They must be dug and set back into the ground or we will lose them. The weather is perfect; I have my new shovel and small gardening tools; now I must get my ample derrière in gear and busy. So, have a good day.